Meet Our Goats

At Applebury Dairy we breed Nigerian Dwarf goats for milk production and show capabilities- but more importantly, we breed for personality. Each goat is unique and special, which is why we create a biography for every single one. Below you will find what we think makes them special, as well as their pedigrees and registrations, if they have them. We hope you enjoy meeting our goat family.

The Girls

Mama– Matriarch and boss. Is proud of her massive, milky jugs, but wishes to be recognized for her winning personality. Tries to hold onto men by getting pregnant on the first date and having three or four kids. Unsuccessful thus far.
Nibbles- Lacks smarts, but makes up for it in looks and personality. Willfully submits to prostitution and pregnancies arranged by her pimp, on the promise that he’s selling her kids to help put her through “goat college.” Seeking a degree in philosophy. #Doeshayreallymatter?
Cali– Neighborhood tomboy. Girl that all the bad goats want, but can’t have because she’s too busy working on her “self.” Hobbies include: Headbutting, frolicking and overeating grain. Will DM you nudes and ask to come over, but rarely follows through.
Plum– Loves sunshine and her mama. Probably poops rainbows and skittles when no one is looking. Claims she is a “bad goat” but never actually does anything bad. Got an ear piercing to be “rebellious” but realizes now it only adds to her adorableness.
Eudora– She’s in shape, round is a shape! This curvy girl is proud of the skin she’s in. She’s body-positive and spends most days blasting music from her favorite artist, Lizzo. “You could have had a bad goat, non-committal, help you with your hay pile, just a little!
Lucinda– Neighborhood goody two-shoes. Favorite book? The bible, obviously. Gives grain to needy goats on the weekends. Although she lectures the other goats for their “promiscuous” behavior, she was once caught with a copy of “Fifty Shades of Goat.” #secretlysexy

The Bucks

Benny– Comes from a long line of big milk producers. Always bragging about his milk capabilities, when in reality, he only produces nut milk. Spends most of his time dating beautiful women with big udders, but only talks about himself on dates. They still want to make babies with him for some reason though.

Hall– Bad to the bone. Spent some time in a maximum security joint, but managed to escape by setting the entire place on fire. Why? Because he wanted to see his baby mamas. He continues to spread his “seed” all over the earth but refuses to pay child support. Girls love him though because he’s so “James Dean.”

The Wethers

Stanley– The epitome of needy. Over-shares all his emotions, feelings and thoughts. Needs reassurance every time you see him about, well, everything. In spite of his of neediness, you won’t find a friendlier goat or better cuddle. He does, however, enjoy entering your home without invitation to take a nap with the dog.
Charlie– Although he’s the largest goat in the herd, he’s also the most bashful. An introvert at heart, Charlie wants to be included in everything, but likes having the option to be alone. The last time Charlie had a party he put a sign on the wall that said, “Please leave the party by eight.” Afterwards, he slept for two days just to be alone.